I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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