Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
