Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
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Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
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What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
the raccoons are back...
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