I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
