just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
