girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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