I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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