If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize