Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize