I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
