I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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