I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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