my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
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Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can't put those talents on a resume
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.