they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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