it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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