He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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