The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
