Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
