OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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