your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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