Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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  (630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc
  Replies (17) Good night (605) Bad night (4849)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you have to choose: penises or morals?

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  (617): you have to choose: penises or morals? http://tfl.nu/bzpz
  Replies (21) Good night (4152) Bad night (884)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her

  (513): View more from Ohio

  me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..

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  (513): woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her (513): me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you.. http://tfl.nu/01sh
  Replies (79) Good night (1356) Bad night (5821)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just realized these events may be related.

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  (352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd
  Replies (21) Good night (6795) Bad night (2375)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong

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  (484): i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong http://tfl.nu/1mot
  Replies (21) Good night (1459) Bad night (4025)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times

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  (508): If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times http://tfl.nu/rglo
  Replies (7) Good night (3113) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather

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  (304): You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather http://tfl.nu/giov
  Replies (17) Good night (1675) Bad night (619)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.

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  (208): Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options. http://tfl.nu/ep0w
  Replies (4) Good night (1076) Bad night (603)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He asked if he could come over tomorrow....

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  (503): So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn. (503): He asked if he could come over tomorrow.... http://tfl.nu/yk5d
  Replies (9) Good night (1761) Bad night (481)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.

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  (770): I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY. http://tfl.nu/v3bb
  Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (441)
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  (619): View more from California

  Then again, he has huge mansions.

  (619): View more from California

  *manboobs.

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  (619): Then again, he has huge mansions. (619): *manboobs. http://tfl.nu/0ptq
  Replies (3) Good night (429) Bad night (722)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..

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  (479): He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt.. http://tfl.nu/d4cr
  Replies (2) Good night (296) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG

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  (847): WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG http://tfl.nu/q2ba
  Replies (10) Good night (346) Bad night (835)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.

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  (605): Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop. http://tfl.nu/lhlx
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (101)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.

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  (716): I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it. http://tfl.nu/kwjo
  Replies (5) Good night (207) Bad night (263)

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