My liver just broke up with me...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
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ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes