Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

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  (678): He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird". http://tfl.nu/qpoq
  Replies (70) Good night (1584) Bad night (4367)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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  (507): and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person. http://tfl.nu/ixis
  Replies (12) Good night (1139) Bad night (5991)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic

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  (218): we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic http://tfl.nu/my08
  Replies (6) Good night (2949) Bad night (721)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

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  (281): Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing. http://tfl.nu/duvr
  Replies (14) Good night (775) Bad night (2750)
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  (619): View more from California

  i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die

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  (619): i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die http://tfl.nu/4ks9
  Replies (18) Good night (1215) Bad night (4890)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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  (306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2
  Replies (15) Good night (5731) Bad night (1144)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things

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  (302): my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things http://tfl.nu/xzcl
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (746)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?

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  (718): Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status? http://tfl.nu/oy76
  Replies (6) Good night (2272) Bad night (905)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.

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  (630): I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts. http://tfl.nu/1rjt
  Replies (2) Good night (1863) Bad night (547)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation

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  (941): Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation http://tfl.nu/t0q4
  Replies (15) Good night (1630) Bad night (532)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable

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  (319): Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable http://tfl.nu/cclu
  Replies (15) Good night (539) Bad night (4258)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.

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  (970): That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's. http://tfl.nu/h55c
  Replies (1) Good night (1286) Bad night (700)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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  (+61): This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business http://tfl.nu/efay
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (499)
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  (805): View more from California

  OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.

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  (805): OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine. http://tfl.nu/qt1j
  Replies (12) Good night (2569) Bad night (512)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.

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  (480): This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help. http://tfl.nu/vra3
  Replies (5) Good night (311) Bad night (394)

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