Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.

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(845): View more from New York

I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help

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(801): View more from Utah

He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?

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(386): View more from Florida

Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes

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(316): View more from Kansas

DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????

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