the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????