Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
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This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
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his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga