she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
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Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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