In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
