Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
