if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
