So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
