Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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