Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She's the barista slut.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
