Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize