he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you had me at cake vodka
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize