Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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