Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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