but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
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"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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