Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
