Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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