sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize