Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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