she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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