you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
so much tequila, so little girl.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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