carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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