I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize