i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
