they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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