you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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