Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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