You're completely useless in the revolution.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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