They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
