We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
