Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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