I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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