We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
