There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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