So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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