I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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