do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
