I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize