I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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