So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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