did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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